Expert Holder of Things

     Kevin, since I first met him, was a constant holder of things. He always had something in his hands. Often it would be something similar to what activity or job was being done around him at the time. For instance, if a carpenter project was underway, Kevin would search around with his eyes until he found something that would be appropriate to hold; something symbolic that would connect him to what was happening in front of him. I often remember putting hammers and screwdrivers in his hands (one in each hand if he could). Finding the item was only half the assignment. Kevin was very particular as to how it was put into his hand. If it was a hammer, he would want to hold the hammer how someone would naturally take hold of a hammer. One of Kevin’s favorite things to hold (especially when he was in school or doing homework) was a pen or pencil. Kevin even spent his own money on pens and pencils. He particularly liked the large colorful pens (fat pens) with a rubber grip. Kevin, again, was very particular about holding his cherished pens. You couldn’t just thrust it into his hand. You had to place it in his hand (and fingers) just the way you would if you were about to write.

     Because he was so particular (and it gave him great pleasure to appropriately hold a tool or an object) I would sometimes, on purpose, put the tool in his hand sloppily or “unnaturally.” Kevin would immediately look up with his big blue eyes and give a look of disbelief. I would often avoid eye contact and play the part of the freshman nurse. This would usually just make Kevin start to laugh because he then knew that I was giving him a bad time. I would have to walk back to him and fix the tool correctly in his hand. He would look at me and smile with his eyes. He enjoyed playing, but he also really enjoyed holding things in his hands.

The Substitute Teacher

I recall a substitute teacher that Kevin had in fourth grade that helped me to better understand the importance of the little (but vital) details of establishing a friendship with someone who has severe or profound disabilities. The substitute was a lady, Miss Starla, who we had never met before. However, she made a lasting impression on Kevin. During the course of a couple of hours while in the classroom, Miss Starla dazzled Kevin. She approached him and got down to his eye level when she spoke to him. She looked at him directly in the eyes and she spoke in a normal tone of voice. This was so important because often people tend to speak very loudly to those with disabilities because they tend to think they are unable to hear very well. Well, Miss Starla spoke in a soft and gentle voice when she spoke to Kevin. Miss Starla also did something else very well. She spoke to Kevin directly, and not through me, the adult nurse hovering nearby. She acknowledged my presence, but she spoke the needed information or instructions directly to Kevin. 

     At the end of the day, as Kevin rolled out the classroom door, Miss Starla said good-bye to Kevin and gently patted him on the hand. His response at the end of the day (while riding on the bus) “I like her, Mr. Allen! I like her.” The sad part is that we never came across Miss Starla again. Her demeanor and communication skills, however, were never forgotten. She was a substitute teacher that left a lasting impression on a young boy’s heart.

Ana Watching

 Your first impression might be that this child isn’t fully capable of comprehending the world around her. She doesn’t talk, or walk. She has a hard time even holding her head up. The truth is, however, that Ana is not only completely aware of her world, but highly aware. She is always watching, picking up on every emotion and action in the classroom. Sometimes you can see the distress and anxiety on her face. For instance, when another student is being lifted or moved, Ana will usually hold her breath until the student is safely positioned. Other times, you can see her smile with joy when something silly or funny has happened. Even though Ana struggles with holding her head up, she is fully aware of what takes place around her; she absorbs the emotion and intent of each and every person that enters her world and space. Because we look on the surface, we don’t often give Ana (or others) enough credit or value for their intelligence or awareness. 

In her presence you come to realize that Ana is watching you closely and measuring every word you speak; she wants to know where you fit in and what your intentions are. In her presence you discover Ana is more aware than you ever imagined.